The Car Accident
It was July 2017 and I was home with my brother Keith, while my Mom was picking Dad up from work. My parents decided to go somewhere afterward that Tuesday evening. Keith and I didn’t hear from them in several hours. We thought they were going to Baltimore to visit some hometown friends, run an errand or get us dinner.
It was almost 7 o’clock. I was downstairs finish watching The Intern starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway on HBO, then Burnt with Bradley Cooper came on the screen. I peeked out the windows every five minutes while watching the movie. My phone rang and it was a text notification from my mom.
“Go ahead and cook pizza for you and Keith. Your dad and I were in a car accident. We will keep you updated very soon. Love Mom.”
My heart shredded into pebbles. I looked at the TV screen zoning out as a weather forecaster was telling me that a tornado was coming for me. I went upstairs to get Keith to come down so I could tell him the news. We were both in the living room while I was cooking pizza for dinner.
We started to reminisce the hilarious memories of our parents, laughing at old times when our parents told us stories about our crazy aunts and uncles. All I could think about what would happen if I lost them while laughing at the memories. I could imagine something like this: police officers coming to my house late at night, giving me the news that my parents were killed in an accident which would have put Keith and I in shock. We either would be on the ground or hugging each other, crying our tears until there were no more tears to cry. The officers would stare at us, holding back their tears, as if we were many of those who lost their parents in car accidents. I would ask what happened and why the ambulance trucks arrived on time to drive them to the hospital. This would be on the national news, family members coming to my house to hug and cry with Keith and I, because we lost our parents, their siblings. My grandfather, Lawrence, would be devastated that his daughter passed away from a car accident. Both grandmothers from both sides of the family are deceased and Lawrence is the only one alive. His wife, Patricia, was like a second grandmother to me.
My friends from Syracuse University, New England College, and several schools would reach out to me, apologizing for my condolences, telling me that they are there for me if I need someone to talk to, and saying my family would be in their prayers. I would post something on social media, honoring them for making me who I am to this day, and thanking everyone for their comments. Keith and I would plan their funeral at the Damascus Methodist Church, my dad’s and mom’s home church in Damascus, MD, and have a ceremony after the funeral as a dedication to them. We would probably have an open mic of people telling a funny story of my parents and something they learned from them. I would read a poem and letter to them, asking God to take very good care of them when they’re buried on their grave, and asking for forgiveness. I would probably have to drop out of college, before my senior year, to take care of the house and put food on the table for Keith. I would be like Eva from the 2003 romantic comedy film Deliver Us from Eva, having a full-time job and taking care of Keith because my parents were gone. I would be totally involved in my brother’s life, making sure everything around him was fine and safe because he’s autistic.
Keith wasn’t himself. His head was down, and he showed a blank space. I asked him a question and silence filled the room. The moment of silence echoed through the blue townhouse. The walls showed our body language in shadows as if we had lost our parents. We were reflecting back on memories and trying to think of ways to laugh so we wouldn’t think about the nearby death.
My phone rang and Mom texted me. “We are in Suburban Hospital and we are fine.” I wanted to call her so we could hear her voice right before she texted me. She was telling Keith and I the black Nissan car was totaled. We didn’t care about the car, all that mattered was hearing my Mom and Dad’s voice because they’re our best friends. Dad couldn’t talk on the phone because he was worried about Mom. They were separated and scared that they might’ve lost each other. They were in different rooms and later found each other when they were released from the Hospital.
I called an Uber for my parents to come home. It took them 45 minutes for them to get home. Keith and I heard the car door slammed. We ran to the front door to see our parents walking to the house. We let them inside so they could tell us about the accident. I could tell my dad needed a drink to clear his mind. He walked to the liquor store and wasn’t himself when he came back. It was already 11:10 p.m. My parents had a lot to do the next day.
I went with my mom to go to her doctor’s appointment the following next day. My mom always had a severe back problem, especially her spondylosis, ever since she was hit by a car when she was 5 years old. She has several back conditions and is always in pain, but ever since the accident, she suffers from chronic back and leg pain all through her body. I wanted to make sure my parents were getting their errands done for the day while my dad talked with the car insurance company. Everything turned out fine when they were able to get a new car, but the pain was flying through the townhouse.
My tears were streaming rivers till 4 in the morning, reflecting on and on about the car accident that could take both my parents’ lives. I was damaged and cold. My heart wanted me to cry more, but my body was telling me that I had to let go of all the pain.
I was savoring something positive at that moment, but life turned out to be a glass of water spilling and letting every negative thing happen to me. I was in college holding back this accident and the accident was in the back of mind when people were telling me stories about their families. I masqueraded as an individual who thought he had it all together, but when you handle so much pain and had more traumatic instances coming your way, it can take a toll on you.
I had to take time for myself to get through this accident because to this day, it still haunts me. The one thing I wish I knew now is to never make excuses for yourself when you endure pain. I spoke to my mom about how the accident affected me and let her know that I was in fear the whole time. I noticed that pain and fear are two binds that want to take over you. You are the future; you can conquer the pain by not allowing it to take over or consume you.
